It’s been hard to find the time to blog these days.

I’ve been working hard, harder than I think I’ve ever worked, and if you’ve read this blog long enough you know that I don’t like working.

I think I’ve actually become and insurance guy. For the first time since I started working for the agency I walked out of work thinking that this was my career. And I think I feel this way by default. I’ve worked here for nearly five years, I basically run the show down here and I’m becoming known around our little town and getting my face out in the community. I think I’m okay with that, if only I could sell more so I could make more and we could live a little more comfortably (like not paycheck-to-paycheck).

But work has been crazy hectic. I’ve learned the commercial lines making me a dual threat (personal and commercial) and I’ve had to learn it by myself as the lady that usually does it trained me for a week before having hip surgery. She then returned for a week before going on vacation. She has been to work one week out of the last eight. This has made things a little stressed for me, and I don’t handle stress well.  The more work has also made me want to work more. I go home dreading the next day and wanting to stay longer so that I can get my work done and not have to worry about stressing. I think I’ve become a workaholic, thinking of work all the time. Again, if you’ve read this blog long enough you know I don’t like working.

And here I am typing about work.

Let’s change subjects, shall we?

Do I have a Seasonal Affective Disorder or perhaps I’m bi-polar?

The last couple of Februarys and throughout the beginning of March I’ve felt a little more on the downside. A little more tense a little more ‘on edge’ like I could blow at any minute. Sometimes I feel down and don’t feel like doing anything. But then sometimes I feel excited and happy. I can be goofy at times and then the next day I feel lonely. I don’t know what to think, it’s really confusing.   

Okay, just took a couple of work minutes to do a couple of bi-polar quizzes. Both said I have symptoms of bi-polarness and should see someone about it. Nothing severe, seems silly actually. Nobody wants to think they have a problem, and I don’t think I do, but what if I do. My Grandma was crazy, and sometimes my Grandpa (not related to crazy Grandma) and my Dad (related to crazy Grandma) can go crazy. Hmmm…

Don’t like this subject either…next.

I think I’ve finally come to terms with having a daughter - meaning that if I were to have a girl I’d be okay with that. Sound goofy? Because it is! I’m just afraid to have a girl. I don’t know how to have a girl. But people have been saying about how a lot of time it’s Daddy’s Girl and how girls adore their fathers. Plus maybe having a girl will help me with my temper, allow me to be more patient. I won’t be as rough on her as I have been with Lukas. I don’t know. What I do now is that I’m okay with whatever I have.

Okay, got interrupted way too much while trying to explain my Boy vs. Girl thing.

Looking forward to the weekend despite the fact that I’m holding down the fort (office) tomorrow morning. It should allow me to play catch up with my files. Saturday evening we have no plans, just the way I like it. Sunday is church and basketball. Not looking forward to the return to the court. Last time I played I embarrassed my teammates, who embarrassed me. I yelled and got a technical for saying a naughty word. They yelled at me to sit down and continued to not try hard on the court. All is fair in love and war, right? Five out of the 10 have welcomed me back to the team, let’s see how the other five act on Sunday. Gulp!

The NCAA tournament begins next week. I’m looking forward to getting everyone together and filling out my bracket on Sunday evening. Can’t tell you who I’m rooting for until I turn in my bracket, sorry!

Finally, occasionally I hear women, heck even people (like myself!) complain about this sickness or that illness and inside I just laugh. I think about how tough Lis was during her whole cancer ordeal and how if they are whining about something so small, they'd never make it through what Lis went through. And that makes me proud (everyone - "And it should!") Seriously, sometimes I lose sight of what she went through and forget about how incredibly she's bounced back. She didn't have to get a bone marrow transplant, she had to go through just one rigourous chemotherapy battle, and she was months away from death! And now she's pregnant! Seriously, you want to start complaining about something you better think about the people around you and the battles they have faced because what you're growing through may be, in the words of Carrie Underwood, "just a grain of sand" compared to what someone else is going through. There's someone else out there that has a bigger mountain to climb.